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Quitting drinking has literally changed my life
I used alcohol as a cure for anxiety, but I did nothing but make things worse.

A year ago, Cheyne Kobzoff's life was disgusting. Despite a wife who loved him, two sons and a great job as a chef, Cheyne spent every morning in miserable conditions, busy throwing back hatred for himself, his head always on the verge of splitting. But apart from the emotional malaise, a life of consumption of alcohol had also made his belly rise in a panettone to Santa Claus (even the beard did not help).

On 23 March 2016, the 33-year-old decided to stop point-blank. Shortly thereafter he even started running, and realized that he could help with the anxiety he was feeling. In a short time he ran for distances he had always considered impossible, and he lost several sizes. Since then he has also lost 25 kilos.

Kobzoff, who lives in California, recently published the photo above on Reddit, declaring that a year without alcohol made him "a thousand times happier." The post has become viral. We asked him how he decided to quit-and if his friends hate him or love him more, now that he has a healthy life.

VICE: Congratulations on having lost my stomach, but also because my beard?
Cheyne Kobzoff: It was nice to get her out. I had made it grow for a year and a half, but taking care of it every day had become a bit 'too much. And I wanted to see what my face looked like after losing all that weight.

I guess it was a shock to your wife.
My wife liked it, she was almost frightened when she saw me without. And so my children. My three year old daughter has gone crazy. But anyway, I do not think he will remember me with a beard in the future.

Or you with your stomach. When did you decide to stop drinking? Was there a moment when you thought you had hit the bottom?
Not really, it's an idea that has developed over time. In my family there is a history of alcohol problems, and I started drinking at 15. It was normal to go drinking every weekend, but then it became everyday.
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Did you consider yourself an alcoholic?
Well, I was, but I did not want to admit it. Now I admit it, but it's strange to say. The only thing I know is that I do not want to drink. If I did, I would be afraid to find myself in that vicious circle.

I did not like the person I had become. I did not like what I had done to my body. Two years ago I had already tried to quit-the day after a wedding in which I had drunk everything I saw and vomited for the next 24 hours. But I only stopped for a month. I gave myself 30 days to go, and then I started drinking even more. I drank 12 beers in the evening, then one or two glasses of wine with my wife when she came back. I felt like shit every morning, then, as I went to work.

My wife gave me a date: March 23rd. Three days after my son's birthday, which was a big party. And so it was. I simply stopped drinking.

On Reddit you wrote that at the beginning you compensated drinking by eating all the food you found.
I did not care for sweets. All those sugars were missing from my body. I ate whole bundles of candy. Gummy, sparkling candies, whatever. And even sparkling drinks, instead of beer. That phase lasted about a month.

And then you started running, right?
Well, I drank to "cure" anxiety. But anxiety did not disappear when I stopped drinking. One day I was cutting the hedge and I felt completely at the mercy of anxiety, and I felt the need to run. I did not do it right away, but the next day I felt that impulse again, and I did it. I put my shoes on, I ran out of the house, I did maybe two kilometers and I came back. I did not know what I was doing ... but it made me feel good. And then I came home completely breathless.

 Did your wife think she was dying?
Actually he was laughing, because the problem was that I had no idea how to catch my breath after a run. I had never done sport in all my life. He told me to walk for 15 minutes, and this helped. Even though I thought I would throw up.

Some call the first few weeks or months of sober "pink cloud", a period when you have sudden outbursts of euphoria. Was it like that for you too?
Absolutely yes. Maybe I was in the supermarket at the cash desk, and suddenly I felt so happy that I did not care. I felt physically happy to the point where I felt like crying. I had never experienced anything like this.

Did you start singing in front of the cashier?
[Laughs] Not that I remember, but I certainly threw some bursts of joy while I was at the wheel.

Then you started running seriously, and then even lifting weights. What are you most proud of from this point of view?
I've never been able to do sit-ups. Then I started with the deadlifts, the squats, the bench presses. After a while I had put on a nice abdominal muscles, and I said to myself, "Let's try these sit ups." Suddenly I managed to make 60 in a row.

How did your friends take this healthy turn?
I am very happy, but I am also sure to be irritating for 90% of the people I talk to. At the beginning, in particular, I was exalted by all the things I was learning by living a healthy life. All I did was talk about physical activity and the fact that I had stopped drinking.
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Do you happen to get preached to those who drink?
No, I do not care what others do. My wife drinks wine, and I would never ever say she can not drink because I've stopped. It would be from assholes.

Now that you do not drink anymore, do you still enjoy going out with you?
I hope so [laughs].

Perhaps this question I should ask your friends.
Look, just last week I took a trip with my friends. We went to Lake Tahoe, and I was a little worried because they all drink. I talked a lot about the year I had just passed, and it went well. It's better this way, now I do not come to that point anymore when I'm completely unmade. In any case, in those situations I did not have to be particularly funny anyway.

Do you remember a particularly low moment of that period?
The night before my wedding I was devastated, and in the morning I woke up next to a basin with some blood. Apparently I had tried to overturn a cement container, and by clinging to it I had lost my grip, I had slipped and had slammed my head on the ground. Even today it is embarrassing to look at the pictures of the wedding and find my face red and swollen with a lot of probable concussion.

Do you miss alcohol?
I miss a good beer. There are a lot of great breweries here in the area. And then the wine, a glass of red with a good steak. Just thinking kills me.
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But it's a small price to pay for not waking up in a bad state on Sunday morning, right?
Ah, yes, definitely. I can stay up late, wake up early and hear nothing. My children get up at 6:30 in the morning, and I can get up with them without first having to hunt down from the dop.

You also wrote that one of the things you lost after stopping drinking is the stink from the bar counter. What do you know now?
In a sober person? [Laughs] Let's say that after I quit drinking I started to recognize the smell of people who had even made a beer. And I said to myself, "Oh God, did I smell like that too?" Now I think I know about detergent, I would say.

This article is taken from Tonic.


Are you an empath?
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News
On the 'Bruce Sterling' robbery in Naples and the state of fake news in Italy
Not only has the robbery never happened, but the newspapers have also invented the declarations of the American writer.

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Leonardo Bianchi
Dec 11th 2017, 8:59 pm

In Italy a very serious emergency seems to have erupted: that of "fake news." In the current vulgate-ridden by everyone-the fake news is everywhere, undermining our democratic system and are produced by disinformation sites and trolls ( almost always Russian).

In this type of narration, however, there are several things that do not square-including the concept of "fake news," which has now become a political weapon useful only to hit their opponents, and the artificial division of ' media ecosystem in good and bad.
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In this regard, I recently reconstructed the story of the "little bride" sold to a phantom 35-year-old Muslim in the province of Padua, and how the initial error of a paper-based newspaper had reverberated more or less everywhere. This weekend, however, a completely false news has seen the protagonist the American writer Bruce Sterling, one of the fathers of cyberpunk.

To start, a bit 'of context: December 7, 2017 Sterling was in Naples to talk to the Apple Developer Academy-the campus in San Giovanni a Teduccio arose thanks to the collaboration between Apple and the University Federico II-as part of a meeting called "Creating Bridges. For a Mediterranean business model 4.0. "

The next day, however, in the Corriere del Mezzogiorno, the intervention of the writer is not emphasized, but an "unfortunate episode" that occurred near the Garibaldi Station. According to the newspaper, Sterling and his wife Jasmina Tešanović would have been robbed "with a gun": "The thieves have taken money, credit cards and passports, throwing both into despair and panic."

Commenting on the incident, the writer would have said that "in Texas around the gun, in Italy it is not allowed, but here I would feel at ease," and added: "Of this part of Italy I know the past and the garbage. "The alleged robbery was later taken up by other local and national newspapers.

Too bad that this scene in Gomorrah (mentioned, of course, in the article) has never happened. Or at least, not in these terms.

On Facebook Jasmina Tešanović, activist and writer, wrote, in order, that: they are "ALL BALLS"; the victim of the "minor snatch" (without a gun) was not Sterling but she; her husband "never said this." The woman then complained about the treatment received by the police while she was filing a complaint, and said that her life's worst robbery suffered her in the civilized Turin.

Contacted by the nineteenth century, Tešanović reiterated that she was stripped of her, and that neither of them has ever spoken with the newspapers. Thus, even the quotation mark attributed to Sterling is false-or better, completely de-contextualized.

In his speech at the Apple Academy, in fact, the writer has reasoned around the stereotypes. "I'm Texan and for the rest of the world I'm an easy trigger guy who turns the gun in his pocket," he said. "And it's like this: when I'm in Texas armed tour. In Italy I can not do it, maybe I could here in Naples, I could easily have a gun on me, because they have the men of the clans, as described by Gomorrah. "

In short, the false robbery of Bruce Sterling proves once again that "fake news" is not the exclusive prerogative of a handful of bufalari who wants to raise money by publishing crap; on the contrary, often false news is also produced by the same newspapers that every day, yes and the other, also denounce the dangers of disinfection.
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 Yesterday afternoon I made the Christmas tree even if I did not really want it because I saw the Christmas trees made by the town of Civitanova Marche that took my Christmas spirit, they gave him a blow on the head, they did it to pieces, they put it in a black bag closed with parcel tape, they drove to the nearest dump and threw it in and no one will ever find it again. I guess it was the same for you. Over the weekend the picture of the Christmas lights of Civitanova Marche was everywhere, but if you have not seen it yet, here it is. Here they are and merry Christmas.

 Now, I do not know Civitanova Marche and I've never been there but I'm pretty sure that for 11 months a year the ones in the picture are normal palms. It is only in December, to the delight of the inhabitants of the country and now of the whole of Italy, that the City of Civitanova Marche decorates them with Christmas lights transforming the tree-lined avenue on which they stand in a promenade that parades between two wings of giant phalluses blocked forever in the act of ejaculating towards the starry sky. Have I already said Merry Christmas?
Merry Christmas to all. Advertising

Anyway, I have some questions about this.

HOW WOULD YOU HAPPEN THAT YOU HAVE MOUNTED CHRISTMAS LIGHTS IN THE FORM OF GIANT PENES?

Because there must be a rational explanation. Because there is no possibility that this was discussed at a meeting of the city council having the agenda "Christmas 2017: we must add the palms of the avenues in the center to make them look like giant penises" and that at the time of voting there are been more favorable than contrary. No. I refuse to believe it happened that way.

 I made some hypotheses about it: 1. an attempt to sabotage the municipal council: now that the troll networks and Russian fake news sites have been discovered, the Kremlin is trying to undermine our democracy by spreading fake Christmas trees and misunderstandings embarrassing 2. a joke of the guy in charge of assembling the Christmas lights because if I were the guy in charge of assembling the Christmas lights obviously I would mount them to make them seem colossal penises 3. an intentional demonstration of strength by the municipal council of Civitanova Marche that governs with such a Bulgarian majority that it can send these signals to the oppositions: seen? We can turn urban furniture into a dark forest of cocks and the population will vote again. Given how little do you count?

 In an interview with the Resto del Carlino, the commissioner (it is not specified in what) of the Municipality of Civitanova Marche, Maika Gabellieri explains that "the day the program was switched on and I did not have time to go around to check the 'effect "which suggests that everything happened by mistake, that the City did not know that the lighted palms would have looked like that stuff there. But then he also says that "the palms are lit up like last year and then two years before." Which means only one thing: in three years in Civitanova Marche no one had noticed anything. Nobody had noticed the subtle resemblance. Advertising

 As a result, another question comes to mind, namely

 WHAT SHOULD THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS LIKE THE GIANT PENES?

I quote from the same interview:

Everyone interprets the lights as he wishes, because the garden of the square is becoming a test of the Rorschach stains

 Moment moment moment moment. The Rorschach test (for those who do not know) is a psychological test that is used for the investigation of the personality in which the psychologist shows you tables with spots and you have to tell him the first thing you see inside. Type in the first table I see two ibex climbing on the same mountain one on one side and one on the other.

Now, let's look at the photo of the square of Civitanova Marche with the illuminated palms: Photo via Twitter What do the palms look like? What do you see? Christmas trees? Mushrooms, as the councilor claims? Of the brushes, as claimed by my colleague Flavia sitting next door? It would be interesting to really use these answers to draw a picture of the personality of those who give them, for example if you see a mushroom you are part of the psychological type A, you are very realistic and dependent on the opinion of others, while if you see a brush you are part of the psychological type B, you have a very developed imagination and always head in the clouds. And then there is the psychological type C, to which I belong, to which they seem only palms used as Christmas trees that for a misunderstanding, once lit up, look like only giant cocks.

 
 BECAUSE IT DOES NOT HAVE AN EXISTING CINEPANETTONE AMBIENTED IN CIVITANOVA MARCHE, "CHRISTMAS IN CIVITANOVA MARCHE", 96 'FILM WITH BOLDI AND / OR DE SICA IN WHICH THE MAIN LEITMOTIV ARE THE LUMINARY CHRISTMAS ON THE PALMS AND ALL THE BATTLES TURN AROUND THE FACT THAT SEEM OF THE PEAS? Advertising In Civitanova Marche the stories of different characters are intertwined. Giorgio Bassi, desperate for having been left by his wife Daniela, goes to the Marche city to his best friend Mario. But he does not know that this is Daniela's lover, and when the two of them notice their arrival they try not to be discovered. Meanwhile, George must undergo the advances of Stella, the daughter of Mario who claims to be in love with him; But Mario misunderstands thinking that Giorgio is asking him to have sex with Kelly, his ex-wife, and tells him to go to bed without problems. In the end, for a series of circumstances, Giorgio and Mario will meet together with Daniela and Stella in the same hotel room, where everyone will discover the truth about the other. So Giorgio packs up and returns home. The one above is the Christmas plot in Miami where I only replaced "Miami" with "Civitanova Marche" but see that it works the same. In three years that the Christmas lights are mounted so you understand that there was plenty of time to turn it around. WHAT KIND OF OTHER CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS ARE IN CIVITANOVA MARCHE? If someone who lives there can help me, I've been asking myself this question for a couple of days.


In high school, Dani Pearsall was nicknamed the "dragon woman". The fact that he was ambitious and his manner decided to be rude and rigid, and the kids often gave voice to their "annoyance" if they were put together with her for the projects at school. Once arrived at the university, the comrades competed to study together. "They told me things like, 'that's cool, you're always honest,'" says Dani, who is 25 today and works as a store manager.
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Jud Nicholas, a Minnesota lawyer, played basketball with the same group of boys for many years. At first he received no compliments from his companions. "I was a mediocre player," he laughs, "but they suddenly filled me with compliments."

Dani's character had not changed-nor Jud's sporting abilities. Their physical appearance had undeniably changed.

In 1920, the American psychologist Edward Thorndike coined a new term. The "halo effect" [halo effect] is a cognitive propensity that implies that when we recognize a positive trait in a person, we tend to overestimate the other positive aspects (the first aspect is therefore like an aura, which gives light to an individual) . In 1972, three psychologists demonstrated the effect by asking some volunteers to rate the characters of some people based solely on their photos. The vast majority of participants assumed that the most attractive people were also kinder, loyal and successful. The study was called "What is beautiful is good".

This may not sound new. Many believe that attractive people are privileged-that beautiful people have an easier life. However, the halo effect often has a negative side. When someone is not attractive, people tend to attribute negative qualities to them. But how pervasive is this phenomenon? How harmful is it?
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Five people whose physical appearance has changed radically have agreed to tell me. Each individual has gone from being conventionally unattractive to being conventionally attractive, according to the standards of Western society. The meager people in the West are valued, and studies have shown that the obese are victims of a social stigma, so this article mostly includes people who have lost a lot of weight-although there are many other habits that the respondents changed before returning to 'standard idea of ​​"attractive people".
Emma, ​​before and after.

"If I had not lost weight, I would not have known that the way I was treated before was completely different," says Emma Passe, a 34-year-old commercial officer. "Now I understand how huge the difference is."

Overweight for most of her adult life, Emma decided to lose weight when she was 31, a period when she began to suffer from sleep apnea, palpitation, and widespread acne all over her body. "The more weight I lost, the more I became thin, the more people wanted to talk to me," he continues. He tells me that people are kinder than they thought before-they want to talk to her, say hello to situations where they did not before, they ask her how the day went. "Now everyone is super friendly."

The fact that people are friendly is the most striking thing about Ashley (who asked us not to use her last name). The 30-year-old from Portland answered me by email: "Now, when I look people in the eye, they light up and smile at me!" His surprise is also evident in the abundance of punctuation that he uses in describing the discovery of relational privileges related to thinness (Wow, people smile at me ??? ") People help her when she asks him, and strangers attack button "People listen to me ... I feel like a member of this society."
Ashley, before and after.

Like Emma, ​​Ashley realized these things after losing weight. Bulled up as a child, she felt "sick" before meeting her husband and losing 75 kg, learning how to put on makeup, taking care of her skin, and dressing more carefully. Even if you feel "relieved" by the fact that now people are kinder to her, there is also bitterness. At the time she was fatter, Ashley says people laughed at her or treated her with disgust and compassion.

"I think a shit pile would have been the victim of less disdain for what I suffered," he says. "When you see people's double faces so clearly, it's hard to please them. Maybe they'll treat you right now, but would they do the same if they found themselves before what you were before?"
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If you want something, smile and you will get it. It's crazy.

" Dani pauses very long when I ask her if there are any negative aspects in her transformation. In high school he wore unisex clothes and did not wear make-up, which meant that strangers often turned to the male. At college she started wearing clothes, grew her hair and learned how to put on makeup with the help of tutorials on YouTube. "Mah," he says at last. "Honestly, it's amazing, it has a lot of advantages.

" As you can expect, Dani-like the other people I interviewed-began to get more attention. "I was always Dani and I had not changed, but suddenly half of the population had noticed my existence." Along with a new and richer sex life, he discovered that interactions with men had become easier. "If you want something, smile and get it." Incredible. " To explain it, he assumes a high-pitched tone, and grimaces: "Hey, sorry, I can not find this book. He says it works.

 "Crazy, I do not understand how attractive people are not completely egomaniac, it's too easy to get what you want." Kameron, before and after.

 The attention from the opposite sex is the most obvious consequence of the "improvement" of the physical appearance, but Kameron Rytlewski, 23 year old from Michigan, thinks that even his renewed self-esteem may have played a role. "The weight kept me from being the person I wanted to be, or at least the person I could have been," he says. People ignored him or were "generally ill-disposed towards him," but now they are much friendlier. "The comments and attentions from the other sex are now very different, but friends and family always treat me in the same way." Advertising

 If the fact that people sexually attracted to you treat you better when you become beautiful in the conventional sense is not surprising, the fact that the family does so probably. Dani says

her father criticized her for what she was, and often told her to wear makeup, at least. When she grew up and started wearing makeup, "she became much more clearly on my side." Jud, the boy who received many more compliments for his basketball skills when he lost weight and began to copy the advice of male beauty manuals, says that his family has also changed his attitude towards him. "Even people close to you treat you differently," he says, adding that his relatives had become more friendly and more talkative. Jud, before and after Like Kameron, Jud wants to add a disclaimer: the way he felt he could also have an impact on how others treated him (both male respondents pointed it out, but none of the girls). That said, however, he says that his jokes were more funny afterwards. "I have a very dark sense of humor, very sarcastic ...

 When I was less fit, I think people were less inclined to take the joke, but now they are disembodied." Of all the interviewees, Emma seems to be the one whose change has had more consequences. "The most incredible thing for me was that I lost friends," he says, explaining that overweight friends have excluded her. Advertising Emma describes another "nightmare" related to losing weight. Even though she is married, today men always try, which is rather frustrating, especially at work. "They ask me to have a coffee or go for lunch, they tell me I'm beautiful," he says.

"It's not fun to always feel like a sexual target, a person who speaks with a purpose and not to hear what you have to say ... it's frustrating." These experiences show that there are also contrasts in being beautiful, and that extreme attention to aesthetics is a medal with multiple faces. In 1843, Hans Christian Anderson published The Ugly Duckling. The story is that of. a duckling so vexed for his ugliness that he decides to kill himself. But surprise! Become a beautiful swan, and the other swans love it! Like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, this fairy tale is somewhat ambivalent to an adult eye. Tell a story about becoming beautiful and fit to avoid discrimination and bullying. Reaffirms that idea a bit 'innate for which beautiful people are even better. And the worst thing is that he says that there are bad people, and that these people have to change.



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